I have many dreams in life, and one beautiful Saturday, TWO of my dreams came true at the same time. Those dreams are: Have a reason to wear an absurd/fabulous hat, and finally go to a Taco Bell in the U.K. Yes, I am aware these dreams are polar opposites and should probably not be achieved together, but I like to reach for the stars, okay? Believe and you’ll achieve.
A little back story for you. As basic American bitches living in London, on occasion (read: a daily basis) my friends and I crave the cheap, life shortening, goodness of Taco Bell in our bellies. Based on these cravings, a few months ago, I discovered that there are Taco Bells all over the U.K., just not in London. Yes, you can follow them on instagram. No, the menu is not the same (RIP Cheesy Gordita Crunch). Yes, it will fill the void.
For months, we have been researching locations with Taco Bells in order to plan a day or weekend trip, but have yet to make it. UNTIL NOW.
Now that you know the tragic story of our undying love for Taco Bell, on to the fabulous hats. For years I have seen pictures of the Royal Family most beautiful woman in the world, Duchess Kate, attending the Royal Ascot in an assortment of glorious headpieces and I WANTED IN. Fancy hats required?! Yes. SIGN. ME. UP.
I saw the ads pop up in the tube stations earlier in the year, and I forced my friends to buy tickets. Once tickets were purchased, the search for hats was ON. I will warn you, this is not a task for the faint hearted. Finding THE hat is TOUGH. Technically, you should buy the hat first, then dress to match it, but I couldn’t decide on hats, so I bought a dress. After finding a dress, over the course of a few weeks I purchased a total of FIVE hats/fascinators. It wasn’t until the day before the race that I found her, and she is absolutely fabulous.
I’d be lying if I said this hat was cheap, but come on, I had to. And compared to Kate’s hats, it probably IS cheap.
The Ascot Racecourse is about 50 minutes from London Waterloo by train, but due to a potential rail strike, and in keeping with my wannabe bougie style, we hired a car to take us to the race. Shockingly, my hat DID fit into the car, it was questionable for a minute, but we made it. Benz loaded and champagne popped and we were on our way!
After a bit of traffic, a drop off at a petrol station, and a quick walk, we made it!
Our tickets were for the Windsor Enclosure, which is not where Duchess Kate hangs out, but it was still a great time. You are allowed to pack a picnic and each person is allowed one regular bottle of champagne or sparkling wine, but nothing else, because class. Sadly we forgot to pack a blanket/picnic pad to sit on, but luckily the Ascot store is prepared for such occasions. I’m not saying we now own two Royal Ascot camping chairs and a Royal Ascot Beach towel, but like.. let me know if you want to borrow them. Once we set up shop, while waiting for the races (and during the races) we feasted.
The Windsor Enclosure definitely has more of a party atmosphere. Not a lot of people actually paying attention to the horses, but it is a good introduction if you have never been to a race! You don’t have to rely on your own picnic and booze, there are food and drink options onsite as well. You can even pick up a cigar if you want! If you do want to watch the races, it does have a good view of the track.
I bet at this point you are wondering where Taco Bell ties into this. Well, let me tell you. Somewhere into our 4th bottle of champagne or so, my friend had the idea to check maps to see how far the closest Taco Bell would be. Within minutes we knew that it was in Woking, and it was about a 30 minute, £30 Uber ride from the track. Not only that, but it was then only one stop on the train to get back to London from Woking. I think you can all guess that this decision was made VERY easily. Pack it up, hop in the (always when you order an Uber around here) Prius, we’re going to Taco Bell!
Yes, all of our hats, new chairs, picnic bags, and bloody shoes (seriously, don’t wear new shoes to this event, my feet are still dying), went straight to Taco Bell. I’m certain all of the workers thought we we crazy because of how excited we were to be in a Taco Bell at 5pm on a Saturday, but we were STOKED.
A couple notes on this Taco Bell experience. Sadly, as mentioned before, the Cheesy Gordita Crunch does not exist in the U.K. Also, the nacho cheese, while it does come in single and double “shots,” does not taste the same as in America. Finally, it is lacking one of my favorite things about Taco Bell, fountain Pepsi. Yes, those are Pepsi cups, but thanks to the U.K. sugar tax, they are filled with Pepsi Max, and it is not as refreshing and delicious and a fully loaded with real sugar fountain Pepsi. These points aside, it was still a MAGICAL experience. Highly recommend the Dorito Burrito.
With bellies full of tacos and burritos, and hearts full of joy, we made our way home on the train. Since that day, we now sleep the deep, glorious sleep of people who know that Taco Bell is just one stop away on the train, well sort of. One stop from Clapham Junction, so it’s like one stop PLUS whatever tube, bus, taxi methods it takes to get to said station, but let’s ignore those minor details, it’s one stop, okay!?
With that, I will leave you with just a few of the million times my hat attempted (and succeeded) to blow off my head while trying to take photos.
Live mas, my friends.
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